Antony Robbins, the famous American life coach, said that positive thinking is the equivalent of looking at your garden and saying ‘there are no weeds’ and that what we really need is to change our patterns of behavior.
After my husband died I settled into, what can only be described as, a rut. The only thing I had control over was the things that I did in my life and they amounted to staying in the places where I felt safe – home and work. That was pretty much it for almost 2 years.
At some point I realised that, if I were to have any kind of life at all, I would need to make a big, big change and so I sold my house in the UK and moved to the South of France. Now, you can say ‘oh sure it’s that easy’ but actually it was; once I’d made the decision. Worrying about what I was going to do with the rest of my life now that I was alone had taken up all of my energy. I’d put my mind and body through so much stress that, once the decision was made, all of that stress disappeared.
No-one can predict the future and no-one can change the past but the one thing we can do is to live for today. I have realised that, however much I might want it, nothing will bring my husband back to me so I cannot live with regrets, I can only enjoy the wonderful memories of the time that we shared together. I don’t know if I will love again but it doesn’t matter because I know that I can be alone and be happy.
Life is a precious gift but it’s only on loan. None of us knows how long we will have to enjoy all the wonderful things that our world has to offer so I have made the decision to make the most of every single minute. Good things and bad things may happen in the future but I’m not going to ruin today by worrying about what they might be.